Bringing up baby (continued)

So mom came back with a new man in tow.

I don't remember this although I have other memories of events around this time. Dad2 was 4 years younger than my mom so the instant family thing must have been a real shock to the system.

Dad2 was the eldest son in a very traditional and conservative Afrikaans family however he had rebelled a little in his youth and had met my mom when he was drumming for a small rock band. His family was very conservative but they apparently welcomed my mom with open arms and accepted me as one of theirs.

My grandmother had different opinions on the matter. There were 2 specific issues that she had; the first was my mothers new man (I guess he just didn't compare to my father in her eyes), the second and more difficult issue was that she had become very attached to having me at their home. After a few years of being my mother, she really wasn't enamored with the idea of my mother reinstating herself as my mother.

Despite all the arguing, I moved back to my mother and new step fathers home and for a few years things continued without too much incident.

A couple of months after my 8th birthday, my step-grandfather was murdered and this had a major impact on my dads (you'll notice that I always refer to my step father as 'dad' and my real father as 'father') state of mind. Years later I was to realise that this horrible incident triggered post traumatic stress in my dad that had been lying under the surface as a carry over from his days in the army. Anyway, home life became a bit difficult as my dads depression escalated, resulting in terrible fights between him and my mother.

Up until this point I had had little or no contact with my father. To this day I am not sure where he was or why he chose to ignore his responsibilities, but ignore them he did and my step dad replaced him as my father figure. As life at home had become very strained I chose to get back in touch with him. What ensued was years of broken promises and disappointments from my father. Oddly however, he assumed a kind of god-like status in my eyes and could do no wrong.

I clearly remember the day that I figured out how to use the situation to my advantage and from then on it really wasn't pretty.....