Bringing up baby (pilot episode - first draft)

Talking about my mom last night made me think that there might be a bit of a theme developing here that I hadn't considered. My family... For years I have said that really I should write a soap opera, it's that convoluted. As it's clear that there are more than enough of those around, I've decided to do the first draft here, after which I can start considering exactly which gorgeous, nubile young actress will be offered (begged) to play the part of me.

So where to start. I guess the beginning is always a good place so here goes...

I believe that my mom and dad met at high school, although the details of this have always been frustratingly scarce. My father is several years older than my mom but they went to the same school and grew up not far from one another.

My mother was a real looker (still is), 5"9, slender with long flowing hair and green eyes. My dad was uber cool, very artistic and I suspect the dark mysterious type due to his artistic temperament.

Somewhere along the line, they slipped up resulting in a hurried marriage to cover the suspicious little bump that had appeared under my moms tops. I know that it was a slip up and quite hurried because I was born 6 months after they got married.

From what I know it things went pretty well initially (university holidays and a fairly well behaved novelty baby) but after my dad went back to finish his architectural degree, cracks began to show. I believe my father moved out because of something to do with an apple core - obviously that was just a manifestation of other things, but that was the reason cited when I asked. This left my mom in the rather unfortunate position of being young, soon-to-be divorced and baby in tow. She did what I guess many people who like to do if they could and dropped me off with her parents. Little did she know that this decision would be the one that caused her the most pain for years to come.

I believe that mom went off and recaptured her youth (which given her age wasn't hard), leaving me in the excellent care of my grandmother, grandfather and 3 uncles. If my memory serves me correctly, these were the happiest days of my early childhood. I have very fond memories of endless baking episodes and breakfasts on grandads knee. He was the most patient and caring man, and I swear I never heard him raise his voice once.

3 years past and just before my 4th birthday, mom returned with a new fiance in tow....