Family Matters

Today has been a lovely day. The RO and I decided to take advantage of the unusually lovely weather to take a drive across country with some friends to see the town that the Bronte sisters (Emily, Charlotte, Anne etc) grew up in. Its one of the lovely advantages of living in a country with such a diverse literary history.

On the way back, my grandmother called from SA but as I was driving at the time, I said that I'd call her when I got home. I've just finished with that call and as always I am frustrated by the family dramas that are common place back home in South Africa.

There have always been a large number of historical and emotional issues between my mother and her mom and it rears its ugly head from time to time. My grandmother and I have a fantastic relationship and it seems that nowadays I am the only person still capable of speaking to her without it becoming an emotional disaster.

I worry about her a great deal. My grandfather died a few years ago and I don't think that my gran has found her feet since. I feel that she is suffering from depression and, given that I am thousands of miles away, its becoming increasingly difficult to try and provide support for her.

I cannot begin to imagine what it must mean to lose your partner of so many years. I wish that she could find some inner peace so that she can start to enjoy what remains of her life. Also, I wish that the rest of the family can find a way to provide the support that she needs without it becoming a battle.

I strongly believe that we should treat our parents with love and tolerance, even if that means that we have to swallow our pride occasionally. I have tried to keep the peace between all of them and to point out that everyone's life would be a lot easier if they stopped acting like enemies. It seems to me that it takes less effort to not be drawn into petty arguments than it does to try and repair the emotional damage that occurs every time they allow their tempers to get the better of them.

Hopefully, with the help of my uncles, we will be able to find the right solution which will help my gran to get her joy for life back.

To all of you who suffer from depression, I hope that you too find the best path back to emotional peace.

VP